Long-Distance Caregiving

Marian Bruin, A.C.S.W, B.C.D.

From Florida Caregivers Handbook,

Ed. by Creston Nelson~Morrill, Healthtrac Books, Tallahassee, FL, 1993

A CASE STUDY
Susan is a business executive in Michigan and is the mother of two teenage sons.    Her parents, Richard and Barbara, left Michigan ten years ago and eagerly joined their friends in Clearwater, Florida.

Richard and Barbara purchased a Florida condominium while he was still practicing medicine, and he and Barbara planned to reside there year-round after his retirement.   

Nine months ago, Richard passed away unexpectedly.  Barbara's friends visited often, and she was able to maintain the condominium until she suffered a minor stroke and was hospitalized.

Susan flew down to be with her mother.  Barbara was eager to leave the hospital.   With the help of the hospital discharge planner, Susan was able to set up in-home physical and speech therapy as well as home health services before she returned to Michigan.  Her mother, being a "private person," was uncomfortable with having strangers in her home.  She became suspicious and began accusing them of stealing from her.  When she refused to allow one of the home health aides to enter her home, Susan was called  and told by an agency representative that the agency could no longer provide services.  He suggested that she begin looking for a nursing home.

Susan knows that her mother would not agree to move into a nursing home, and she also knows that her mother would not agree to come back to Michigan and live with Susan's family.  Susan spends hours on the phone every day, trying to calm her mother and allay her fears.

Even though her supervisors sympathize with her situation, they have expressed concern over the numerous distractions.  Every time the phone rings, Susan's heart skips a beat.  She is plagued with fear and guilt.